Two Pink Lines
Updated: Sep 17, 2021
The lines blink twice. Then solid. There are two solid pink lines on your stick. You could have sworn that you took your birth control. That he pulled out. That doctors told you that you had a little to no chance of getting pregnant.
But here we are. Two solid lines. Pregnant.
Over the next couple of days and months the idea that you are pregnant is apparent due to your changing body shape, but that doesn't make the fact that you are pregnant any more real. Sure you may have 'morning sickness' (if this could be abolished I would), or ligament pain, or joint pain, or you just can't sleep period because of how uncomfortable you are. But still. It doesn't seem quite real.
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, please don't get me wrong. But for some those two pink lines have turned their life upside down, and they aren't quite sure how to take this new chapter on.
Deadlines continue at work. Calendars are full with doctor appointments, getting the baby registry filled and bought up. But still--it doesn't seem real.
When you actually get your baby items you seem bewildered how an actual baby is going to fill these clothes, this stroller, this house of dwelling. Tears seem to overcome you at random moments, and you brush it away especially when it happens at work. You aren't quite sure if or when you will tell your office as no one else on your team is pregnant.
The lull of nine months pregnant turns into weeks, and then finally days closer to when you are expecting this new addition into your home. You start to feel contractions. They are getting stronger and closer together? The fear, yet joy of finally not being pregnant anymore overcomes you yet you still don't know if you are quite ready.
Through the 'ring of fire' you birth your baby into the world, and are immediately filled with utter amazement that you CREATED this life just placed into your arms. This person starts crying. You don't know what to do, but you hold it. Embrace it. Love on it.
Feedings, swaddles, and diapers seem to have overtaken your house and you are not quite sure where you put the pacifier. Your baby is screaming. You start crying. Was I ready?
Slowly but surely the moments of crying and confused moments begin to dwindle and fade. This little person is now smiling up at you whenever you come near. Your heart gushes every time you see their picture on your phone.
You were ready.